New segment here on Ps.Pov. I am usually a sucker for great titles, but here I am just cutting to the chase. As I also love alliteration, this is Wednesday’s Why and Why Not?
WHY?
YOGA PANTS
Why is this even a thing? I used to joke that once someone decides to wear “their favorite sweats,” 24/7, then they have really given up on their dreams. In the same vein, the yoga pant has become the universal go-to for hipster women both young and old.
At my former high school, there was an unofficial “freshman” uniform which consisted of yoga pants and a crop top. In this manner, these young ladies could skirt (pun intended) the dress code and still conform to peer pressure, a hallmark of adolescence and public schooling.
Not to be outdone, this trend has infiltrated the soccer mom demographic, and based on my recent observations, become a staple in many women’s personal style. According to a 2018, Bloomberg article, “48 Billion is being spent on this activewear every year.” Here’s the thing: Yoga pants do not go with every outfit, are not appropriate for every event, and, as mysoginistic as it may sound, do not look good on everyone.
I am a middle-aged man with a gut; I admit that (I am working on it). I would never have the audacity to impose restrictions on personal freedom or fashion choices, but we were once a country of public modesty. We are also a country that embraced fashion trends like bell bottoms, leg warmers, and high-heeled zipper shoes for men. Here’s to the practice of yoga (I have even attached a link below to my friend’s farm where she offers classes), but let’s put a stop to the ubiquitous “yoga pant.” Their use is stretching thin.
WHY NOT?
ALLEVIATION THROUGH DEEVOLUTION
Why not learn to walk on all fours? Also, why not create ambulatory devices and a fitness program that promotes this behavior.
Excuse me. We have evolved or were created (not touching that hot button) to stand erect to laud over all animals and to see beyond the horizon and our wildest dreams. We look at our height as a sign of genetic superiority or inferiority, and our vertical position allows us to stack canned goods on high shelves.
Here me out. As I age, I realize that more and more parts of my body…ache. I have sore feet, sore knees, a sore neck, and a lower back that is angry all the time. Once again, this could be the result of overuse, sports in my youth, or the aforementioned BMI that puts me in the “obese” medical category; however, there may be another culprit- our upright stance (physically, not morally, lol).
Howard Stern once promoted a product that raises your feet when you are on the toilet to adjust your spine for more efficient and easy defecation. The design came from observing other animals relieve themselves. Our history has shown we learn much about ourselves from watching nature, but we are reluctant to give up one of the main aspects that make us human, our posture.
Give it up. I was told that I have a weird leg/torso ration. I did not know this was even a thing, but it means that my height is determined disproportionately by my legs in deference to my upper body. This is not unusual, nor is it restrictive. I believe Michael Phelps has the same issue, but he is a gold medal winning swimmer; I use Gold Bond powder. What is problematic is that when I walk or stand, I am putting too much weight on my rather long, but thin legs. Picture a rock on two toothpicks.
Like everyone else, when standing, my spine is straight and stiff, putting all the stress on everything that aligns in that plane, namely, my knees, my feet, and, of course, my lower back. Another consequence of standing is that our spines get used to being rigid making other movements like twisting and bending over more difficult.
Here’s the solution. We train ourselves to walk on all-fours. In this manner, weight is more evenly distributed and less stress is put on the spine. Initially, we would need some prosthetics to lengthen our arms to make our gait more fluid and facile, but who knows, this could alleviate many of our pains, and alleviate our need to use ALLEVE.
We no longer have to have an elevated sightline, or for that matter, perceive ourselves as elevated over all the other creatures on Earth. Horses and cheetahs run way faster than us, and I have never seen one wearing a knee brace.
The Omstead, Glastonbury, CT
theomsteadllc.com
Love and laughter,
P.
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