Monday Musings – Hot, Hot, Not So Hot

How you feeling? Hot. Hot. Hot. Anyone who was listening in the 80’s or has ever been to a wedding knows this refrain from the Buster Poindexter song of the same name.

Now, this reference brings several of my passions into play. Many of my formative years occurred in the 80’s (high school and most of college), and it was a time when my musical attention was at its peak. Unfortunately, it also underscores one of my biggest struggles since leaving the Northeast for South Carolina…acclimating to the heat and humidity in the Low Country.

Now, to be fair, I have never been one to handle heat and especially humidity well. As a child, my second floor room was an oven and my toys were stored in the adjacent attic that was stifling. During the summer, I would sleep with my head nestled as close to a fan as possible, and sometimes, even place the fan atop of my prone body.

You guessed it. Mr. Carrier had not visited our home. I did not even know what central air conditioning was.

I could bemoan all of the sleepless nights and other battles I had with the heat during my childhood, and I can commiserate with anyone who participated in double or triple session practices in the dead of summer. Now, mind you, this was in central CT, not west Texas. However, I will cut to the chase.

When I was old enough to afford my own home, I wanted two distinct necessities. Consistent hot water (an entry coming soon) and central air. My first home had window units, my second a large water heater and central air. I could now beat the heat, metaphorically and literally.

I had become what The Who calls, an air-condition gypsy.

Two more houses. Two more sanctuaries chilled by AC.

Fast forward. I am living in North Granby, CT on the border of Massachusetts, and it is often cold. Really cold. Mostly, wonderful. One catch. My partner is the yin to my yang. She loves the heat, the humidity. She cannot tolerate the cold.

Fast forward, I decide to retire from teaching. We decide to sell our home, and here’s the best part. We decide to move south. Way south. Not South Jersey, South Carolina.

I am thoroughly excited. A fresh start, a potentially slower pace. New restaurants, new opportunities and the beach. Lots of it. I don’t write thrillers (not yet), but you can see this twist coming for miles. “Yeah, but what about the heat.”

Ah, yes. The heat. June and July with August and triple digits lurking. Challenge accepted.

I am adjusting to the heat and occasionally walk on the beach during the height of the sun, if it means better footing at low tide. But I am sweating. I am constantly sweating. I sweat walking, but I also sweat cooking, driving…even breathing. The minute I leave my condo, I begin to sweat. Now, this will not deter me from making a life down here, but it does get me thinking about heat and more so about the word “hot” and all of its connotations.

Most times, “hot” has a neutral or even positive connotation. Hot soup is better than cold soup. Hot lunch far superior to tepid. Hot often means attractive – excessively so. Even today, I spent almost twice as much at the grocery store as intended due to the “hot” deals. Now, I know when used as an adjective, the word can be used negatively. The phrase “hot mess,” comes to mind, but if someone is a “mess” I feel the need for intensification is just overkill.

The prosecution rests, Craig. Stop your whining.

I will. I will stop whining, and I will continue to wage my battle with the heat- even if that means dealing with shirts that stick to me like fruit roll-ups or covering myself in Flavor-Ice at bedtime.

Before I go, I would just like to mention that people often use the phrase, “Hot as H-E-double hockey sticks,” to describe uncomfortable temperatures. Now, unless all of those years spent in catechism were fruitless, that is the last place I want to end up.

We are intelligent creatures who have figured out how to insulate ourselves from the cold and from the heat. There is no heroism in eating al fresco when it is 115 degrees because it is a “dry heat.” If air-conditioning is available. Use it. Set it at 68 and turn on the ceiling fan for good measure. Lastly, to anyone who is cold, there are myriad ways to warm yourself, but once you’re hot, you’re hot, hot, hot..

Love and laughter,

P.