In Ghostbusters, Bill Murray discusses a potential Armageddon, and he tells the mayor of New York City that, “cats and dogs will be living together.” This is a sign of the end of days as, in my experience, not only do cats and dogs not play well together, neither do Cat People and Dog People.
Cat’s Meow
I am a cat person. My first pet was a seal point Siamese named Ping. Siamese cats are notorious for being even more aloof than other breeds, but Ping was a lover. Let me rephrase. He was a lover after he was neutered.
Ping had the misfortune of clawing my father’s legs as he exited the shower. My father’s legs were filled with varicosities, so this was especially troubling. The next day, Ping had his testicles removed.
Barker’s Legacy
For those who watched The Price is Right , with the legendary Bob Barker, he always ended the show with a call to action- a call to spay and neuter your pets. This simple salvo is probably a better campaign than the maudlin commercials with Sarah McLachlan. Spay is used to sterilize female cats, neutering males.
Little Einstein
Once neutered, Ping was as amenable as any animal I’ve ever encountered. Of course, he hid at times, and often acted distant, but he was a gamer. As a curious 8-year-old, I used to check many of the scientific “facts” about cats. They always land on their feet. Not if they are too close to the ground. They cannot breathe out of their mouths. True. Their whiskers grow as a reference to the girth of their body. True. They are good swimmers, but do not like getting wet as it takes too much time to preen. They do not like their stomach exposed, so don’t rub a cat’s belly, and they don’t like playing Rodeo.
A funny anecdote about cat landing on its feet occurred during a rainstorm while I was doing my homework. I was lying upstairs in my room, when my curious cat Puff came bounding across my bed. Yes, I had a Pong to match Ping, but this was our third, Puff. I had opened the window to get some air, and a light rain had made the sill slick. Puff ran over my book, hit the sill and flew right out of the window. Concerned, I stuck my head out the window and saw Puff safe and upright on the grass below. I can only imagine what she was thinking: “That was a quick elevator or wtf.”
DOGGED
i grew up with cats, but I did have one dog. Unfortunately, his story is as tragic as Old Yeller, so I avoided being a dog owner for a long time.
Dog owners, like their dogs, come in many breeds. Dog owners sell their lifestyle by the make and model of their pets. Lab owners want to present the Vineyard Vines, New England attitude. Some owners, especially who drive jeeps, will have medium-sized dogs with bandanas. One of my pet peeves is dogs dressed in human clothing, but I guess this is okay.
Small dog owners really want cats, and big dog owners, I guess, want to have their house destroyed. My dog Chloe is still alive and well at 12 and fits into the small dog category. She only weighs between 8 and 12 pounds depending on which family member has been sneaking her food from the table and pantry.
Chloe is a Puchon-half Poodle and half Bichon. We chose her because she is hypoallergenic and can fit into a duffel bag. Just kidding, she rides on our laps and loves it. She does have some issues with her teeth; they are falling out, and she has torn the ACL in both of her hind legs.
https://a-z-animals.com/animals/poochon/pictures/. (Pictures of white Poochons)
I mention this as dog owners treat their animals as members of the family, and that is not necessarily true of cats. Dogs are man’s best friend, and cats are interior accoutrements like afghans and throw pillows. Ping was different.
HACHI
There is a movie based on a true story called Hachi: A Dog’s Tale (2009). It chronicles the loyalty of a dog, who after his owner dies, still goes to the train station every day to meet him. The only routine my cats had was sleeping in the sunbeam that came through our front door windows. Great way to tell time, by the way; however, my parents tell a story of Ping that could easily be a sequel to Hachi.
When I went off to college, Ping began sleeping on my bed, exclusively. He would come down to eat, and make a mess on the living room carpet, obviously to show his disdain for my absence.
My mother noticed he was eating less and less and had little energy. He made it through September and then October, and I came home close to Halloween. I went upstairs to check on him, and plunked down on the bed, and he curled up next to me as usual. After a long weekend, I went back to school; the next day Ping passed.
If you have read The Odyssey as I had recommended, Odysseus’s dog Argo waits close to 20 years before his master returns, and then, even though the hero is in disguise, knows him by smell, cozies up to him and dies.
There are hundreds of iconic dogs and stories that revolve around them. Lassie, Rin Tin Tin, Astro, Scooby Do to name a few, but the only two heroic cats I can recall are The Cat in the Hat, who is a total nuisance, and Garfield, who is known for his sour demeanor and eating spaghetti. Not the best endorsements for feline acceptance.
STATUS CHECK
Eileen and I are currently renting a smallish condo, so our discussion of adding pets has been shelved. As you just read, I am a cat person. Eileen, a true dog aficionado. I have realized that dogs do have more personality and offer much more affection.
I have always wanted a bulldog named Beauregard, so I can summon him like the southern magnate in the cartoons. “Beauregard, come here, Boy.” I could also shorten it to Bo when I buy the jeep and add the bandana.
Unfortunately, in researching this post, I realized my childhood memory was a bit fuzzy. The owner’s dog is actually Belvedere, but that does not work for me. I think I will stick to my version.
Eileen has always wanted a Saint, as in Saint Bernard. Yes, picture Beethoven. She wants to name it Kutch, which shows some creativity. It must run in the family as her daughter wants to get a fish and call it Cleats.
I have opined about the destruction this animal would cause and the sheer strain it would cause on our wallets to feed it, but dog lovers have history and pop culture on their side.
I am warming to the idea of a dog. No offense to Chloe, but you will know my next dog is a dog, not a rabbit or a fox. I also realize that I will never truly be a dog person as long as I remember Ping. Lastly, I have heard horror stories of dogs being added to houses rife with cats. Remember, Armageddon. It appears it will be one or the other.
As my argument is not as passionate, in the future, I will probably be the owner of a Saint. I hope it comes with the keg or warm rum around its neck, because, as a cat lover, I am going to need it.
Please share your funny stories about your cats and/or dogs. I’ll even entertain other pets as well.
SORRY
For those of you expecting this on Monday, I sincerely apologize. I have been excessively busy, and too tired at times, to write. I have been so busy that I do not have a ton of suggestions for Suggestion Sunday but I will try to make it up to you in the coming weeks.
Until we meet again,
Love, laughter and Labradors,
P.