Seems to me that I always have plenty to write about in this category. I guess it is part and parcel to being semi-retired and living in an area rife with restaurants.
I have posts about burgers and fast food breakfast choices on the docket, and I probably have another full post on last evening’s hibachi experience. Probably, that could land in Hump Day Humor as well.
I saw a meme the other day about Conjunction Junction from SchoolHouse Rock, a hip learning tool from the 70’s. Conjunction Junction got me thinking of some of the other entries in the series, but also the commercial that appeared around the same time, that included a character who promoted eating cheese. Lots and lots of cheese.
SAY CHEESE
This memorable ditty, got me thinking about the ubiquitous, almost unsettling presence of cheese in my diet. I am half Italian, and bread has always been a staple in my eating habits. One day, just on a whim, I ate probably 15-17 slices of toast in one sitting. Thank you, Mom for indulging this record-breaking attempt.
I have also discussed my love of all things carne, but I was yesterday years old when I rooted on how often cheese makes an appearance, and in how many forms it manifests.
BLOCKHEAD
The purest form of cheese is buying it in a block. One can also purchase it in a wheel or when it comes to Gouda in that barn door shape. In college, I used to buy smoked sardines and gouda routinely with my meal plan points. Don’t judge. Think about what you ate in college and the combinations that sounded good at the time.
Of course, I would encounter a block of cheese on occasion, mostly cut up at a party as an accoutrement to a slapdash charcuterie, but my experience with a full block was limited. Fast forward.
Living only a short distance from The Granville Country Store, a quaint throwback convenience store on the CT/MA border, I was reintroduced to the splendor of a block of cheese. GCS is world famous for their cheese, although it comes from farms in NY, and they cut the blocks right in front of you. Sharp cheddar, extra sharp cheddar (my favorite) and smoked cheddar sliced as you wait using what resembles the paper cutters from elementary school.
Currently, every time I go to the Food Lion, I make sure I buy a block of cheese. I never know when I will get back to Western MA, or attend a swanky soiree.
CLOSE SHAVE
In my many forays to the aforementioned Lion, I have encountered brands and products that I had completely neglected. Blue Bunny Ice Cream, Swanson Chunk Chicken in a tin, and… Nabisco Easy Cheese. That’s right, folks, the pasteurized cheese snack that comes in a can. I affectionately call it “shaving cheese.”
Eileen is a nurse who eats way more healthful than I. She often will blanch at my food choices, but the “shaving cheese” causes genuine concern. The cheese comes out of a nitrous oxide driven can (picture whipped cream or the Fuzzy Pumper Barber Shop), and you swirl it on crackers.
I do not eat it right out of the can; I am not an troglodyte. Ironically, it does look like Playdoh hair but a bit thicker and a bit less dry. I love processed foods, and I love foods that are as close to plastic as possible–introducing Easy Cheese.
Upsides
Here are the upsides. The can says, “no need to refrigerate.” Talk among yourselves. Facing a hurricane this week, and the potential loss of power, I was assured that I would have crackers and accompanying cheese to go with them.
The can also says, an “excellent source of calcium.” As I age, and my need for calcium increases, I am more apt to buy “shaving cheese” than shaving cream. I will be hairy and unkempt, but I will be satiated.
Downsides
Aside from it not actually being food, which does not disconcert me, the can does not last very long (8 oz.), and just like whipped cream, as you get to the end ,it tends to sputter out leaving cheese spackle over anything in range.
The other downside is that it contains a “bioengineered food ingredient.” I have no idea what this means, but in my mind, I keep hearing Charlton Heston discussing the contents of Soylent Green.
Neither of these detriments is enough to keep me from purchasing it and consuming it. I do not buy it in bulk (six packs), and I have only tried the cheddar, but I do not seem to be the only one drawn to the excessive sodium.
On a trip to get laundry detergent, I picked up a few items, but I made sure I went down the cracker aisle where they hide the Easy Cheese. My intent was to get a can of cheddar and try the extra sharp cheddar. To my dismay, they only had three cans left and only in the American cheese flavor. Even I have my standards.
CHEESE IS EVERYWHERE
My final thought today is more of a request, a challenge. Just for a day, or a week, mentally note how often cheese enters your day. It’s on your pizza. It’s on your sandwiches. It’s shredded and spread on salads, burritos, chili dogs. There is a cheese for every palate and every occasion. My Mount Rushmore of food includes mayonnaise, burgers, CHEESEsteaks, and CHEESE. Contemplate your life without cheese. On second thought, don’t.
Love and laughter,
P.
P.S. I will be adding my Going Out Shout Out to my next post: I will be promoting two restaurant staples from my college years: Pizzeria Pino’s and Eagles’ Deli