If it does not feel right, it will never taste right. In my youth, I was a fussy eater, but no longer. I will eat almost anything if it doesn’t eat me first. The one exception is if the food has an odd texture. Now, I cannot define the word “odd.” Maybe, it is my own way of eschewing (not chewing) foods that I don’t care for, but that list is already set in stone.
I’m not into greens, and I cannot stand the smell of cauliflower, broccoli or any other swamp thing. This aversion has nothing to do with texture, but they are not going down my gullet.
Eileen has noticed that I rarely eat anything considered healthy; whether that is her nursing opinion or the opinion of the AMA, it is probably pretty accurate. She has also noticed that the consistency of food also drives my eating habits- therein lies the paradox. I like pudding and my peas mushy, but other soft foods such as tofu, heirloom tomatoes, and cottage cheese, I find off-putting.
I don’t like Prime Rib because I don’t like the texture of the fat that surrounds it. I don’t like sashimi because it is too cold and rubbery. I don’t like hummus, but who really does. Not sure our rock-eating evolutionary predecessors craved the chickpea.
Ironically this sensorial aversion affects one of my favorite foods- hamburgers. Yes, we all know that my favorite food is cheesesteaks, and chicken parmesan is always a winner, but the food I consume most frequently is cheeseburgers.
One summer, Eileen made a bet with herself to try a new fruit every single day for a month. I countered with giving up hamburgers in any form for that same period. At the end of the month, I went to the local 99, and ordered a cheeseburger.
The 99 chain is not known for their burgers, but this one was delicious. I know what you’re thinking – “a thirsty man in the desert,” but it was the consistency not the hiatus that made it so compelling.
In that moment, I realized that I like burgers that bite back. What I mean is that many burgers promote the fact that they use fresh ground beef. Awesome. The issue is that many of these establishments serve burgers that are press cooked on the outside but shredded inside.
If I am being nebulous, picture a burger that is falling apart in the middle, a burger where you can see the individual strands of beef. If you have ever eaten at Five Guys, Plan B, or Highway 55, you know what I mean.
I recently dined at Neal and Pam’s in Surfside Beach, SC. I had a lovely time, and the place was bustling. Their food was tasty, but their menu advertised award-winning burgers. Now, I did not know what contest or prize they had won, but I was intrigued.
As I was perusing the menu, two teenagers next to me received their burgers. They were juicy and substantial…and falling apart. No heft, no bite back. No awards from me. Switching gears, I ordered the cheesesteak (shocker). It was not the best I ‘ve eaten, but it had a nice feel.
We are all different people, with different eating preferences. I am not sure how you choose what to eat. Maybe, it is the comfort, or maybe, it is for health reasons. Maybe, it is to be indulgent, or to be sneaky. You may have a sweet tooth, or like salty/savory. What I know about myself is that, whatever I eat, it better feel right, or it is going to taste wrong.
Stepping Out Shout Out
Rioz – Myrtle Beach
Yes, just ignore that the restaurant has changed the possessive “s” to a “z” to make it more hip, more trendy.
Eileen and I had heard wonderful reviews of this restaurant from many different client bases, and a visit from her parents, who were staying in Myrtle Beach, afforded us the occasion and opportunity to check it out.
The warning from all of the past patrons was to, “go hungry.” They were right. This was not a meal as much as it was a dining experience.
For around thirty dollars, you can purchase the all- you- can -eat salad bar, and for around $45, you can add all the meat you want. Since we were forewarned that this was a food orgy, we all chose the second option.
The salad bar was enormous. Traditional items as well as cooked shrimp, crab and chicken salad as well as my favorite the sesame noodles. Aside from the cold items, they also had a station with hot foods including rice, mashed potatoes, oven roasted potatoes, bbq spare ribs, and for some reason, a heaping pile of candied bacon.
I tempered my excitement, and had a replete but conservative plate of salad. This was a Brazilian steakhouse; I was waiting on the meat.
Rioz has an interesting system. You have a cardboard “mini coaster,” which is green on one side and red on the other. Several servers mill through the banquet room with skewers of meat. If you would like to partake, you show the green side; if not, the red.
Bet it all on green. In the course of 20 minutes, I tried three cuts of beef (flank, sirloin, filet mignon), and parmesan pork. They also served salmon, lamb chops, and even grilled mozzarella.
Frequent fliers also told us, “we had to try the pineapple.” It did not disappoint. Grilled pineapple basted with cinnamon sugar. Now, I would eat dog poo if it was dipped in cinnamon sugar, but this was succulent and decadent.
My overall effort was mediocre. My stomach said, “Whoa!” and I listened to it. The restaurant also offers a bevy of desserts brought to you on a medical cart. Appropriate.
I did not have room for dessert, but Eileen’s stepfather enjoyed a piece of cake and the accompanying, requisite sing-a-long for his birthday.
Rioz was something I had to experience, and it WAS quite the experience. I would go again, as long as I had a large group to participate in the frenzy. I would also go with a better game plan, and a towel for the meat sweats.
B+ – Two buffets and long carving knives.
Love and laughter.,
P.